"Merry Christmas, Frank Lasee!"

In his usual spirit of generosity and self-effacing humanitarianism (except if you don't look like him!), Frank posted a Christmas card on his blog.

After all this bullshit about pleasure and cheer and crap, Frank really gets to the point at the end. Basically, Frank wrote the card to himself ("Merry Christmas, Frank Lasee") and thinks the rest of you shouldn't be reading his blog on your free time (don't you have some work to do?) and instead should find publically-funded jobs where you have, oh, 7 free hours on the internet every day to go into Microsoft Paint and make up blog Christmas cards directed at your own holiday good cheer.

If he had any sense of work ethic, his Christmas card would've looked like mine:

Because I've got 2 minutes to kill...

Frank's confused again. As a result, we get this:

_____________________________________________________________________

"Politicians gave us the idea that the things we could not afford individually we could somehow afford collectively through the magic of government."

--Thomas Sowell
_____________________________________________________________________

Remember that one time when you wanted to get drunk, but you didn't have enough cash to buy a case of beer? Then you met up with your buddy, who also wanted to get drunk, but also didn't have enough dough. You two decided to pool your money, split the beer, and you both got drunk. Remember that?

Frank doesn't have any fucking clue how that worked out.

Frank made me stop studying

It's early December, and as all of you either unfortunate enough to be a law student yourself or, perhaps more perniciously, unfortunate enough to be friends with one, you understand that things go a little bonkers this time of year. The entropy level in the law school is high, 1Ls are flinging themselves around like it was 0G, and professors interrupt their uninterruptable walks through the hallway to respond to your idiotic question about promissory estoppel solely with a borderline-rhetorical 'well, what do you think?'

And yet, Frank doesn't even have the sympathy to give his detractors some time off. The bullshit meter is running, and therefore I ceremoniously take a break from my antitrust procrastination to wade into the dismal swamp of Lasee's mental faculties.

"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." -Winston Churchill

If there is a God up there, Frank, he's in tears. Can't you hear him? He's like "Lasee, stop being such a fucking douchebag, run headfirst into a wall a few times and see if the agitation can't get some action going up there."

To briefly move to the actual idiocy of the quote, I'm really curious how you'd distinguish the Americans that get up every morning and go to work from the taxpayers in your metaphor. The metaphor a dead Brit used awhile ago relies on this idea of something not being able to impose a force upon itself. Wouldn't the hard-working guy who gets up early to put in a good day's work be trying to pull America up by the handle while standing inside? Would you say it's distinguishable because he's not actually pulling, or because he's not actually inside the bucket? Would you want to answer that question with a bunch of laborers around?

Once again, Lasee takes a massive dump all over the idyllic illusion of some sort of interplay between government and logic. Thanks, Frank, frankly, for being Frank: I didn't want to study Dr. Miles anyways!

Frank answers his own question, has yet to realize it.

Frank's been on a real quoting spree recently. Perhaps he's run out of independent thoughts. That, or he really thinks his "365 half-witted cluster-fucks of pseudo-political ramblings of the day" calendar is the shit. Nevertheless, here's what we got today:

___________________________________________________________________

"The mystery of government is not how Washington works, but how to make it stop."

--P. J. O'Rourke

___________________________________________________________________

Frank doesn't live in Washington. Frankly (haha, get it?) he thinks the place is the dumps - that's where the government resides, that's where taxes are raised, blah blah blah. Therefore, it seems fitting that Frank would finally initiate his attempted overthrow of the US government. Just imagine Frank leading his militia of redneck Packer fans to the White House.

Keep in mind, Frank, that the folk advocating anarchy are going to be the first people to lose their house under its realization. I don't see you as an exception to the rule.

The most disconcerting facet of Frank's little quote is the fact that he's figured out the mystery, but doesn't seem to have realized it. As a result of bullshit political bickering (I'm looking at you, Lasee), Wisconsin's state budget was overdue by several months this year. Political gridlock. Government stopped, because of Lasee and his band of ruffians. Mystery solved. Well played, Lasee.

Now that you've figured out that mystery, maybe you should figure out that mystery of the hallway in Brown Deer High School. You know, that one you thought the black students were having copious amounts of sex in, the one that white kids weren't allowed in. Remember that one? Me too...

How do you solve a problem like Lasee?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007
"Realize that the doctor's fight against socialized medicine is your fight. You can't socialize the doctors without socializing the patients."

--Ronald Reagan

Wednesday, November 21, 2007
"We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can."

--Cullen Hightower

Where does a critic even start? You can't socialize the doctors without socializing the patients? What's that mean? You can't have a government control administering health care without requiring people who need health care to become socialists? Well Frank, if that's true, and you're paid by the government, and some poor souls are your constituents, doesn't that make them socialists? What about people who go to the post office to send mail? All de facto socialists, according to Lasee according to Reagan.

Now the second quote, Frank, I'd think you'd see as a good thing: If Congress was totally ignorant of the ways our lives could be more frustrating and complex, certainly they wouldn't take that into account when they're making decisions. I think what you meant to quote from someone else is: "We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex, and Congress cannot either, so our lives keep getting more frustrating and complex!"

That being said, I do understand Frank's trying (hard but pathetically, and through the voice of another) to imply that legislatures intentionally make people's lives more frustrating and complex. For example, Dr. Lasee recently went into a school outside his district to convince them to stop allowing black kids to have sex in a school hallway. Now, those kids will have to have sex somewhere else. Moreover, instead of calling the police should a kid show up at school with a gun, Lasee proposes trying to get five school administrators together to put their thumbs against a safe to release the gun and shoot the kid. Frustrating and complex much?

Frank quotes Hill

From Franky's Funhouse:

"I have a million ideas. The country can't afford them all."

--Hillary Clinton

Frank Frank Frank. If I didn't know it was you totally misunderstanding the quote, I'd be curious whether someone from your position would agree or disagree with that (obviously realistic) statement. But you got your panties in a bunch and, instead of reading the words 'million', 'them' and 'all', I bet you saw "I have ideas. The country can't afford them." Would you rather she said "I have a million ideas, I think the country can afford them all, and I'm gonna try to make that work"? Hillary says something fiscally pragmatic, and Lasee jumps down her throat.

You've managed to turn a nearly tautological comment (if the US Government tried to enact every idea for reform I have, we wouldn't be able to) into an implicit exogesis on your inability to interpret even simple quotations just by posting it on your blog. C'mon Frank: Don't you have any staffers that aren't miserable at thinking you could throw on the case?

If only Lasee could read

Bill O'Reilly has started messing with his liberal blogger law school critics by trying to get them kicked out of law school.

My only question is, Frank, when do you try to get Dr. Nugz and I kicked out of law school? We started Seriatim for other reasons, realized it was insufficient to keep up with the ridicule you deserve, and started YLfB to make fun of you. I took the picture from the front page of your blog, added a tongue in Microsoft Paint (with which I am amazing) and captioned it by saying that you're sticking your tongue out out of disgust with the general populus of the state you govern.

Dr. Nugz had an idea: "Of course, it'd mean he would have to hire a lawyer, and he might not feel like punching someone right now." Frank, if you're reading this, you should email some UWLS administrators right now* and tell them to kick JP and Dr. Nugz out of school. I wouldn't bring up your recent attempt to defund the entire institution, though.

* Please BCC us, too. Post a comment and I'll send you the addy.

** Sweet Benny is a news source of no equal.

He tries so hard...

Earlier this week, Frank was lambasted by this fine blog for, rather idiotically, quoting some dead guy on an issue Frank couldn't quite understand. As my colleague JP noted yesterday, Frank tried to circumvent this criticism by 'attributing' bullshit from someone, rather than outright quoting them. After being admonished for this rhetorical sleight-of-hand, Frank is now trying to pass the buck on one of his potentially well-meaning, yet still mildly retarded, constituents.

It turns out that somebody in the world subscribes to Frank's weekly newsletter. Even more surprising, it seems that this person decided to write his/her thoughts to our favorite incompetent legislator. Frank, clearly impressed by the level of intelligence and thought displayed by the comment, posted the drivel on his blog. We're left with this:

___________________________________________________________________

"I think we have a responsibility to provide health care for those who cannot afford it. This does not mean everyone who does not have health insurance. If a person /family spends their money foolishly we should not have to pay their bills.If they buy a new car instead of buying health that's too bad for them. Let them sell their car and house if they were so foolish to waste their money.

Every man, woman and child has the responsibility to provide for themselves! If they do not do so , we should not have to pay for them.

I am tired of hearing people claim we owe them something for nothing. We owe them the right to work for it and NO MORE!"

__________________________________________________________________

It hurts. Hurts bad.

It appears that Frank and his band of imbeciles have figured out what's wrong with the system. Those that are unable to provide health insurance for their family have obviously spent their money on foolish shit - like cars, drugs, bitches, diamond-encrusted goblets, etc. For some reason, I'm not quite sure the world-view espoused by Lasee's minion is entirely accurate.

Note the obvious double-bind that Frank and his creature placed themselves in. Our society has a responsibility to pay for the health insurance of someone that can't afford it, unless they spend their money foolishly. Frank's policy thus far has been to provide health insurance to nobody, to leave it an entirely personal affair, regardless of finances. If Frank adopts the message provided by his minion, which he has presumably done given its publication, Frank now desires to give poor families the luxury of going to a doctor, provided that Frank is allowed to go through your financial statements from the past several years to determine whether or not you spend your money on stupid shit. You can say a lot of things about Frank, but he's going to make sure you'll never be able to call him consistent.

Let's talk about the foolish shit Frank doesn't want poor people spending their money on for a bit. If you're too poor to afford health insurance, Frank wants you to prove it to him. Sell your house, sell your car - do what you've got to do. Wait, what? Sell your house??! That's right - sell the fucker. You're not poor enough for our 'responsibility to provide health care' to kick in until your family is, quite literally, living in a cardboard box in an alley. Compassionate conservatism, anyone?

If y'all would be so kind, please point your attention to the second paragraph of the message. According to these cretins, the responsibility for health insurance coverage is on the shoulders of every man, woman or child that wants it. That's right - if you're 6 years old, and want to see the doctor about your boo-boo, Frank wants you to get a job, save your money, and buy the necessary insurance.

Quite obviously, child-labor laws must piss Frank off to no end. He's telling us that every child has a responsibility to fund their own health insurance. This is difficult, because children in Wisconsin can't work until their 14, and can't hold any meaningful employment until they're 16. What does that mean for little Billy, the able-bodied 11-year old who needs to go to the doctor, but can't afford coverage because the asshole Democrats wont let him get a great job at the foundry? It means - fuck you, Billy.

Maybe your parents shouldn't have blown their money on that house you live in. That'll teach 'em.

The Attributable Lasee

Frank Lasee reads YLFB. For serious. He posted another quote today, but with a few differences from his normal parroting that are obviously a result of the criticisms on this blog. From the horse's mouth:

A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.

From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.
--attributed to Alexander Fraser Tytler

First, after all of the crap we've given him for quoting people, Frank's decided instead to "attribute" this retarded little blurb to Alexander Fraser Tytler, an 18th century Scotsman. When you check out Mr. Tytler's wikipedia entry, they do in fact make reference to the nugget of idiocy with which Frank chose to associate himself:

"The following unverified quotation has been attributed to Tytler, most notably as part of a longer piece which began circulating on the Internet shortly after the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election[1]:"

Ah, it was a chain letter! Now we're moving back to traditional Franky, who apparently still thinks that quotes from chain letters are appropriate bases for legislative policy. Why does Frank like chain letters so much? As Howie beat into my head, let's go to the definitions. From wikipedia:

"Although no state or federal laws currently exist banning chain letters; they are viewed as a general nuisance as that frequenly multiplying letters clog up the postal system and do not function as correspondence mail, but rather, a game."

Now we're in LaseeLand: Viewed as a general nuisance, clogging up the system, treating something serious as a game. If ever there were a better metaphorical representation of the Lasee era in Wisconsin, it'd have to involve some sort of defecation.

To spend just a second on the "content" of the attribution, can anyone out there think of one democratic government that has spent itself into dictatorship? Dr. Nugz and I pondered this question at some length to no avail. Moreover, how would Franky reconcile the quote, which says politicians must spend money to help the people, with his continued term of office despite screwing everyone over all the time? Is Frank implicitly asserting that his nuisance-y legislative game that's clogging up Wisconsin is keeping us from a dictatorship?

By the way, the point in the quote, "[a] democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government" reminded me of The Onion article proclaiming that political scientists have discovered a new form of government! C'mon Frank, treating a democracy like an atom with a half-life is something only the genious' at The Onion can come up with nowadays, and they don't even write chain letters.

Much ado about Franky

JP: oh yeah, lasee's quote
Dr. Nugz: Oh shit, for sure.
Dr. Nugz: Seems the perfect tie-in for a talk about his illegitimate child.
JP: even after reading it, it doesn't really say anything to respond to
JP: heh
Dr. Nugz: I'm not sure - do you think he's trying to tell us that we can't blame him for his mistakes, we should blame the entire organ of government?
JP: i'm actually surprised that he'd quote someone talking about washington; is he suggesting that in wisconsin we have a particularly accountable system, where he gets all the shit on him?
Dr. Nugz: He's talking about shifting responsibility as an act of shifting responsibility.
JP: and by quoting someone pointing out that it's happening in washington...
JP: where's lasee in here again?
Dr. Nugz: Maybe he thinks life in Wisconsin and in D.C. are the same?
JP: or maybe all governments are the same
Dr. Nugz: You know, the rough, rugged political scene in Madison. It'll kill ya....
JP: with his expertise in fashion design, you'd expect him to know better
Dr. Nugz: With his desire to put thumbprint-coded safes full of guns in public schools, you'd expect him to not know better.
JP: well, i don't know, maybe everyone else was just artfully evading responsibility for not having more guns in schools
Dr. Nugz: Ha, and Frank became the patsy. I could see that - seems like the kind of guy everyone would set up for a fall.
JP: true, always sticking his nose out there for the little guy
JP: i'm just gonna post the im
Dr. Nugz: Even if the little guy isn't even in his voting district, and gets Frankie looking up to see whether or not 6th graders are having sex in a public school hallway that black students aren't allowed into. Maybe everyone is just setting him up for the fall on that one too.
JP: writing a post would make it seem like we could encapsulate his stupidity in one coherent block
Dr. Nugz: That's the problem - you just can't square a circle.

Lasee quotes to avoid being quotable

If ever one of Franky's puppet-like attempts at individual thought via quotation really hit it on the head, it's this one:

"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand."
-Milton Friedman

Like most people who aren't able to conjure up and defend a point themselves, Frank resorts here to summoning the authority of Milton Friedman, a figure whose name people believing that money should be in the hands of the capital like to invoke in response to the argument that deregulation generally screws the working class. Unable, apparently, to come up with a hyperbole as poignant as a sand economy, Franky thought he'd pull the double whammy of bad argumentation. I can see him doing it right now: "If I quote Milton Friedman merely making a ridiculous, bald-faced assertion, then, not only will this blog post contain a ridiculous, bald-faced assertion, it'll also encapsulate my [Ed. note: pathetic] inability to construct even a bad argument on my own!"

When you read this and realize we got that moment on tape, post a comment and we'll tell you where we hid the spycam.

Frank's quoting folk again

So it seems that Franks either (a) ran out of intellectual fortitude required to formulate original posts, or (b) really thinks that resorting to out-of-context quotations is an effective way to legislate. Whatever the cause, he's provided us with this gem:

_____________________________________________________________________
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson
_____________________________________________________________________

This quote, by way of Lasee, is interesting for a number of reasons. Here's the game - I'll rattle off intriguing aspects of what's going on here, and y'all can help supplement my list.

1. Frank's part of the damn government. When a government official tells us that a government has the ability to do bad things - he should probably spend more time fixing the government, and less time quoting dead people.

2. Frank's confused about the difference between correlation and causation, again. Something that's big isn't necessarily strong. Is Frank really trying to tell us that these people are stronger than this one? Come on Frankie - take a second and think about this.

3. Frank seems to think that every facet of potential an organization has will manifest itself. Just because a government may be strong enough to take something away doesn't mean it will happen. Dr. Nugz has the capacity to steal your lunch money, seduce your mother and become your step-father. Chances are, that wont happen, and you don't have to worry too much.

Notice how point 3 ties into point 1 - get off your ass, Frank, and do something about it.

4. Frank has, once again, defenestrated basic norms of time and space and thinks that we're living in a fantasy world. For this quote to be grounded anywhere near reality, we would have to live under a regime that gave us everything we wanted. As of this post, the state of Wisconsin has not provided me with a gold-plated Hummer, a diamond-encrusted goblet, or various women of different ages, sizes and ethnicities. This government hasn't given me anywhere near everything I want. Does that mean Frank's trying to tell us that the government he is part of is too weak to take anything away from us?

Now that Frank's gone and confused the daylights out of me, I'm going to see what the Sherman Act is up to. It's certainly less amusing than Lasee, but its also exponentially less retarded.

Franky Panky

Daniel Bice, a journalist for the Wisconsin Journal Sentinel, is trying to steal Dr. Nugz' and my jobs. He pointed out the hypocrisy in Frank's "family values" platform and, well, his divorce, child-out-of-wedlock, and subsequent custody battle.

Of course, this is all old hat to all you Lasee followers, but Bice did get a quote that I felt should be pointed out: "Reached by cell phone, [Lasee] was curt. Just before hanging up, Lasee said, 'I understand the type of journalism you do, so you can do it without my help.' Not true, not true at all. There'd be nothing to write about here without all the material being supplied by this veteran lawmaker."

No Frank, we really can't do it without your help.

Franky Friday Monday

Frank posted here on Friday about the property tax cap veto.

"Property tax relief in sight for 2009. Local governments will be limited to 2% or new growth for their property tax levy."

Holy shit Frank, that sounds a bit like a compromise! Forgive my befuddlement at the prospect that you could hold two thoughts in your head simultaneously, much less two thoughts that aren't both knee-jerk representations of your silly point of view, but isn't this the sort of thing you've been bitching about for the last three months on your blog (when you should've been working on the budget)? I know, if you had your way, we'd just disband the whole government, return to a feudal system and make random nonsensical exhortations at members of the judicial branch, but it sounds like, instead, Wisconsin may have gotten its way! That's a cause for celebration, right? When's the Frank Party? I'll attend, in the spirit of Halloween, as an armed schoolteacher!

Little Frankie edits his own Wikipedia entry

Seriously, check it out.

Up until October 16, 2007, folk interested in reading up on their favorite dipshit legislator on Wikipedia were made aware of his 'more guns in schools' policy, his illigitimate child, his alternative strategy in budget procedures, his attempt at holding a judge in contempt, and his inability to graduate high school.

Enter Frank. Dude deleted all the above-referenced information, replacing it with such nonsense as his fathering of the "Taxpayer Bill of Rights" - which is not really a bill, doesn't define or declare any legitimate rights, and does nothing for the taxpayer but force him/her to realize that Frankie is making this bullshit up at the expense of the public coffer.

Just how do we know that Frank edited his own Wikipedia entry, and not some other interested party? First - nobody else in their right mind would replace perfectly good information about illegitimate children and arming school-teachers. Second - the bit about Frank not graduating high school was replaced with a line about Lasee's degree from the University of Wisconsin - Green Bay. Only somebody as retarded as Frank would think that's an improvement. Lastly - the introduction of an entirely incomplete sentence. If you can make any sense of the line 'A gailed attempt to require referendums to raise taxes or greatly increase govenment spending' - YLFB would love to hear it.

Way to go, Frank. Surfing the internets for information about yourself. It's not quite up there with punching your attorney in the shoulder while in court, trying to buy thumbprint-reading gun safes for schools, or designing pretty dresses, but its still fairly impressive.

Frankie L designs skirts

The Wisconsin legislature has finally reached a budget deal, and Frank's ass is officially chapped.

___________________________________________________________________

"There is a budget deal. The major points have been agreed on, and the minor points will be ironed out today.

I will be voting “No” on this budget tomorrow.

This budget is flawed because taxes will be increased by a half billion dollars and because there is a $200 million raid of the Injured Patients and Families Compensation Fund—a fund designed to protect doctors from large malpractice claims.

The raid on the Compensation fund is likely to end up in court; we could end up repaying it along with interest, court costs and fees.

I predict that the raid on this fund will drive medical prices up. We will pay more for our medical care.

This budget is a raw deal for us, the taxpayers."

___________________________________________________________________

Frank, this is getting too easy. I can only hope and pray that the new budget calls for the elimination of your compensation. Only if the desire to put more guns in our schools, import a plethora of Illinois lawyers and butcher the mandates of logical argumentation and advocacy are considered desirable traits up in Lambeau Country can I understand a scenario where you are paid.

Last Monday, your blog admonished Democrats for refusing to compromise. You pointed out various aspects of their budget proposal that you hoped Democrats would make concessions on. The same day, you bitched about the Governor being a hypocrite. Now we've got a situation where you're not entirely happy, and you're post indicates that you're absolutely unwilling to compromise. Pot, kettle, black.

Last Friday, you mentioned that creating a state budget is a difficult endeavor because unemployment in Wisconsin has increased. Ignoring the obvious fact that you never mentioned why that's a concern in the budgeting procedure, you've managed to place yourself in an argumentative predicament. You recognize that more people are without jobs, and are pissed that taxes are increasing? Seriously? Even you've got to realize that when people are unemployed, it becomes more difficult for them to finance their basic needs. Come on Frank, pull your head out of your ass and recognize that public assistance programs don't fund themselves.

I'm not even going to talk about medical malpractice issues with you - you're beyond a lost cause at this point. If you're willing to protect surgeons that commit serious errors and honestly think that the management of medical policy is best left in the hands of various insurance companies, as opposed to the citizens, I should probably save this conversation for someone with an intellectual capacity that allows for a more profound thought than "daaarrrrhhhhh" provides.

Maybe your constituents would be willing to replace you with someone a bit more qualified (not retarded) if they were aware of your degree in fashion design?

Franky responded to YLfB!

By posting a new little disclaimer on the sidebar of his blog!

"It's hard to find someone who's neutral about state Rep. Frank Lasee, whose stands on the issues delight his polical friends and infuriate his politial adversaries." Green Bay Press Gazette

Frank doesn't provide a link so that we can confirm either his or the Green Bay Gazette's inability to spell the word 'political', although, in a rare moment of comity, YLfB presumptively attributes this mistake to the Green Bay Gazette, since Franky's recent spat of posting other people's ideas have us skeptical that he's not really capable of any expression beyond cntl-c, cntl-p.

In any case, Frank did manage to find a quote that portrays him as cavalier and controversial instead of stupid and, well, stupid. Not that the quote's that brilliant too: In response, YLfB has come up with a list of people, throughout history, who have delighted their political friends and infuriated their enemies, prefaced by the kernel IM:

JP: so i'm going to come up with a list of people throughout history to whom this applies similarly to
JP: hitler's #1
JP: attila the hun?
Dr. Nugz: Anybody from George W. to Abraham Lincoln.
JP: yeah, i'm looking for obviously bad figures, don't want to spend time debunking the lincoln crush we have
Dr. Nugz: That's the problem with his quote - everybody fits it.
JP: i know
JP: that's why i'm going to blatently cherrypick
Dr. Nugz: All it says is - Frank has friends and enemies.
JP: precisely
Dr. Nugz: Stalin, Ho Chi Minh, Che Guevara, Pol Pot, Chairman Mao, Pinochet, Batista, Castro, Hernando Cortes...
JP: this IM is in the post
JP: just in case someone really doesn't get it

(1) Adolf Hitler. Galvanized post-WWI Germany into a frenzy while sending his enemies to concentration camps.

(2) Attila the Hun. I'd rather have been on the side of the ravaging hordes.

(3) Hmm, ok, this can be a YLfB contest: Take one of Dr. Nugz' suggestions and think about how they had friends, and enemies, and then think about Frank, simmer, and let us know. I think Chairman Mao is a particularly good selection.

Power dynamics, meet Dr. Lasee

In Franky's oft-invoked style of posting things other people write to put one more barrier between what he says and what he says, he this time has turned to a letter from a Senator to Governor Jim Doyle about the problems in our state government. For some reason he didn't mention Lasee, but he did hate a bit on Doyle for this whole budget garbage. Apparently, according to our author whose credibility is severely in question after having been agreed with by Franky, the Governor is threatening a government shutdown if the legislature doesn't pass a budg some time soon.

Perhaps its an excerpt problem, but our protagonist's second point is kind of a doozy: "Governor, you know full well the state of Wisconsin does have a budget...." No, in fact we don't, but what I think you're trying to imply is that the republican Assembly has a budget that it wants to pass, but the dems don't want it.

Well state legislators, let me be, somehow, the first to welcome you to bipartisan politics. I'd say the analogue of the Golden Rule as applied to your new legislative dynamic is "If you don't have political capital, you can't get anything done." Things that increase political capital are, for example, passing bills the people want, making intelligent commentary on the state of Wisconsin politics, and not being a total crackpot.

So, Lasee et al., if you guys really expect to waltz into meetings with the democratic Senate and the democratic governor and tell them 'hey, we've got this sweet budget you don't like, and you should just accept it verbatim because we don't have one yet,' it'll just demonstrate to the world that you don't understand how bicameral politics work. When you have less political capital, you don't get what you want. Sorry!

Franky takes a step up from posting a chain letter

And posted a letter to the editor of the Manitowoc Herald Times decrying hypocritical "liberal logic." The author sounds like a third grader, so we have to assume Dr. Lasee chose to post his words verbatim instead of spinning the issue himself because of the advanced nature of the rhetoric.

Apparently Mr. Brilliant's goal was to set ideas next to each other that, like the very premise of 'liberal logic' itself, are in direct contradiction one to another. For example, the first one is: "That the innocent unborn don't have a right to life but a guilty condemned person does." In the context of the letter, this one actually comes off quite sharply.

The next is "That gun-free zones would work if bad guys would read the sign." Of course, in dude's intro he states that "I suppose it's irresponsible for teachers (or commercial airline pilots) to have access to firearms. Liberal logic escapes me, although that in itself is an oxymoron." So he wants teachers (and potentially pilots) to have guns, but he thinks it's idiotic for liberals to believe that gun-free zones will actually stop people from packing heat? Say we give a teacher a gun for school, though, and then he/she takes it to a rock concert with a gun-free zone sign. Liberals are now both being ridiculed for trying to keep the gun from being there with the sign, and for trying to keep the gun out of the teacher's hand in the first place. But we don't want guns there.

Maybe Lasee's new tactic is to create these unpossible little puzzles that don't make any sense in order to confuse Dr. Nugz and I who are making a good-faith effort to figure out what the hell he's talking about. Let's check out the IM:

JP: trying to deal with lasee's post from yesterday
JP: it has me in mental knots
Dr. Nugz: Ahh, gotcha. He'll do that.

It's kind of effective: I feel like this post is running too long already from trying to reconcile the intro with point two, and there are like twelve points. Let me finish briefly:

"That terrorists don't exist but global warming is caused by human activity." Keeping in mind that dude is still trying to expose contradictions, we have to assume that there's some relationship (mutual exclusivity, theoretically) between belief in the existence of terrorists and global warming being caused by humans. Please, if you can figure out what in God's name that would mean, let us know.

"That Bill Clinton's personal life was none of our business, but a conservative Republican's life is subject to inspection." No, Larry Craig's wide stance is funny, while getting BJs as President is pedestrian.

"That you can negotiate peace with someone who wants to kill you." See, e.g., cease fire between X and Y.

"That a giant government help program like FEMA failed miserably but a giant government health care program will work." I think he's on to something here: FEMA didn't save New Orleans because the people there were black and there was a conservative government. There's still a conservative government, and the people who want the care are largely minorities. If the government didn't give a shit about Katrina, why would you think they'd give a shit about your health, when they're demographically-similar groups? Here, our Author really plays up the effect of conservative racism on public regulation.

Whew. In case anyone doesn't think this is hard work, this is hard work. Dr. Nugz and I were lamenting this post yesterday: Since our mission is to show why Frank is a duclod, we felt like this post really tested the limits of our ability to frame things in a light that made him look as stupid as possible. I couldn't even go through all the dumb things in there because it'd take forever and class is about over. This guy is good.

Lasee's concession troubles

On Monday afternoon, Lasee posted this gem:

"The Green Bay Press Gazette editorial this weekend urges:

Democrats have conceded nothing on these three new taxes. They still want a $2.02 tax on every pack of cigarettes (not counting the federal tax). They still want the hospital tax. And Doyle wants lawmakers to discuss the transportation budget later, at which time you know he will stick to his guns on the "Big Oil" tax.

The GOP has taken much of the heat for not making more concessions to the other side. It's time for taxpayers to turn up the heat on Democrats. Let's hear it, Mr. Governor and friends: Why won't Democrats compromise with taxpayers?

The Republicans in the Assembly have already acted to fund K-12 schools before their budget deadline. It is time for the Democrats to make some concessions."

Lasee's post here is confusing for a number of issues. First, the link Lasee provides to this ground-breaking Green Bay Press Gazette column takes an eager reader straight to a screen informing him/her that the page does not exist. One would think that if Lasee is trying to make-up a story to suit his interests, he would choose (a) a publication more note-worthy than anything published in Green Bay, and (b) a story that actually suits his interests.

Another mind-blowing aspect of Frank's nugget of knowledge is the freight-train he rolls over logical argumentation. Frank is apparently upset over the fact that his party made concessions in the budget-making process, whereas the Dems have not. Unfortunately for our favorite special legislator, the story doesn't say jack. The Gazette lets us know that the Dems have not backed down on two demands, and the governor may want another to be met. Frank supports this with the claim that the Repubs acted to fund public schools.

Frank - listen up. If you want to turn this mess into an argument, here's what you need:

-A statement that you (well, not you really, because you're nothing more than a joke amongst your colleagues) funded public schools as a concession to the Democrats.

-An indication that your friends in the GOP are not 'sticking to their guns' on certain issues. When you are trying to compare one party to the other, as you do here, you need an affirmative showing that your party is not any more guilty than the other of your asserted 'crime.' As you can see, the very story you cite claims that your party is also refusing to make concessions. Why are you attempting to put the pressure solely on the Democrats, and not the entire political scene in Wisconsin? Come on Frank - help me, help you.

-Argumentation as to why the 'guns' being stuck to by the Democrats are bad for the state. Your average reader is put into a fun situation by your post. We know that Frank Lasee is pissed off becuase the Democrats are not backing away from certain policies that he disfavors. However, your average reader also knows that you support more guns in public schools and the mass migration of foreign lawyers into Wisconsin. You see, people have come to realize that your political ideas are ridiculous, at best, and generally retarded. When we see that you oppose something, we begin to favor them. You've got to work at solving this little problem of yours.

Frank, the list of ways in which to improve your argumentative technique is certainly not exhaustive. Lord knows you need more help than I could ever provide. But for the love of Christ, you've left us with a rhetorical abortion. The story is nothing but gibberish - all fluff, no substance. If you want to be taken seriously - ditch the training wheels and start making some big-boy arguments. Come on Frank, you can do it!

"Governor and Senate Democrats are hypocrites"

Dr. Lasee posted here on Friday.

Franky lost his train of consistent thought sometime between calling the Governor and Senate Dems hypocrites in the title and then attacking them for their "extreme" positions at the end. If Frank thinks you're extreme, I think you're purty.

Here we are, and there he is

JP: we need to do something about lasee
JP: i'm starting to think franklaseeexplained.blogspot.com
Dr. Nugz: We definitely do - I was thinking about that this morning.
JP: whatisfranksaying.blogspot.com?
JP: franksandbeans?
Dr. Nugz: I'd think so - haha, beans
Dr. Nugz: Franksnotthatbright
Dr. Nugz: legislativeabortion
JP: laseesoundslikeloser
Dr. Nugz: youliedfrombench
JP: oh shit
JP: that's it
JP: i'm creating it in secured transactions
Dr. Nugz: Sweet - I can't wait for that one.
Dr. Nugz: That's a blog I might have to contribute to.
JP: for sure
JP: the name's available!
Dr. Nugz: Haha - what happened that we're the first people to think of this?
JP: i dunno
JP: ppl lack ambition
Dr. Nugz: If we're the folk that are used to demonstrate ambition, yeah - no question its lacking.
JP: mmmm
JP: i say we just go post for post with him
Dr. Nugz: I like it. Whenever there's a new one - whoever displays the most initiative gets to explain it?
JP: sure, or we both can take our shots if we're feeling industrious
JP: i think more IM convos are necessary too
JP: that seemed to hit a nerve
Dr. Nugz: No doubt, sometimes we've got shit to say.
Dr. Nugz: Haha, that's true. I don't think we can go wrong here.